herr hankmeister

In honor of my lack of producing photos for my 365 project, I will submit a few of my favorites from the past couple of weeks.

Me and my pal Hank just chillin'.

hills and valleys and shrimp

Hi

Sometimes I feel bad for not posting for awhile, but then I remember that no one reads this, and the only person I have to apologize to is myself. And that's dumb, so I'm not going to do that.

I guess I just haven't been ready to come back to this thing. Maybe I am now. Things have been okay for about 7 days. Maybe 6. Either way, I've been pushed in a new direction and it's okay. It's not the end of the world, my life isn't over, the things that have happened are over and done with, nothing to be done about them now. All I can do is keep pushing myself, keep forcing myself to move on. It's good for me, I think, this {moving on} thing. It's not about guys or dating or any of that part of life. Right now it's about me, about pushing myself to be who I want to be and to do the things that I want to do. Freaking took me long enough to get to this starting place - I won't say too much so I don't jinx it, but I'm feeling okay. Right now I'm doing alright.

I started waiting tables at this little seafood joint in town. I love it. It's great to be a part of a support system again. And even if they aren't helping with my problems in life, it's nice to know that I don't have to bus every table on my own, or carry all my own food, etc. We all pull for each other, we all do each other's work. It's a great place to work, great people to work with, I feel really lucky to be there for the short time I will be before I go back to school. The best part - working has helped pull me out of my deep dark hole or whatever it was that I was in. It's amazing when all I have to focus on is getting drinks, taking orders, making sure everyone has what they need to enjoy good food. Takes my mind off of other things and forces me to think about other people before myself, which is nice. I'm also making a little $$, another definite plus.

Not much else has been going on besides working lately. I'm leaving for New York in a few days! Fiddle camp in New York City with Mark O'Connor. PUMPED. :-)

I'm planning a trip out to L.A. to see my best friend for a weekend in August. I haven't made it out there yet, and it's coming up on his 3rd year at USC. Looking forward to more beach time and city life!

So, I guess it hasn't been as horrible of a summer as I thought. I got a new hat, fulfilled one of my secret dreams, and embarked on a few new life directions. Win.

it's all part of the master pan :-)

So, epic fail on a couple levels, here.

First Level: 365 project. I haven't posted any pictures in a week. Although, no one reads this, so it's fine.

Second Level: Last week was my one year marker with Blogger, and I wanted to do something awesome. However - the one year marker was also a Monday going into a Tuesday, so maybe that explains something.

Third Level: I've been hiding things. And not using this blog for what it was really intended. And I don't want to do that anymore. Although I have a history of saying controversial things that people *ahem* like to email back to my face and say, Karla, really? about, I do enjoy writing about what's in my head. It's helpful. It's like my space to get it all out where I can see it and evaluate things, you know?

So I'll start with quick recap of GraceFlock tour, because it was excellent. It was short this time, just 4 travel days and two concerts, one in Ringtown, PA and the other in Lutherville, MD. Ringtown is a cute town, lots of stuff going for it, minus the terrible cell service. They helped me get over my fear of windmills, though. Those giant white ones that stand 20 stories high and blink ominous red lights at night? Yeah, super afraid of those. They lined the ridge that was around the town, and so I got to stare at them whenever I wanted, and even experienced one up close and personal. Here's a picture:

The concert there went well. It was the first, and therefore had some of the first concert ritual mistakes, but it went well. We stayed at Penny's old house, which was fun. I played hide and seek with a 2 year old, and spent the nights icing my arm and attempting to get service in the family room, without much success.

We drove to Maryland on Sunday after we played in Ringtown's church service. Pretty drive. The concert there was great! We played well, had a ton of fun, AND, the church was air conditioned. Extra plus. :-) I had a fan club of small children by the end, and acquired a new pen pal! All around a good day. Drove 12 hours home on Monday, got in at 8 last night. Whooo tour!!

So this week, as it is yet again another Tuesday, bodes about the same as all the other Tuesdays this summer. Sad, lonely, and worthy of staying in bed all day. However, I'd rather get out of the cycle than immerse myself deeper in it, so I'm going to see if I can't break this ridiculous ritual and put some issues to rest today. I am also working on my sister's bridal shower for this Thursday, and it's jazz night at the Shrimp. Good things are happening, just have to keep my focus on them. Be selfless, Karla. It's so much better than being stuck in your own head all the time.

Here's to getting out of the muck and back on track with my life. As Lans jokingly said to our sound tech this week, "It's all part of the master pan." :-)

gah

No picture today, just some thoughts:

I am hungry.

Graceflock leaves for tour on Friday! 14 hour drive to Philadelphia. SO EXCITED.

It will be my one year anniversary with Blogger tomorrow! I will have to do something extra special to celebrate.

My room is clean, and it feels so good to be on my unobstructed bed without moving piles of clothes just so I can lay down. Also, I dusted. Extra plus there.

I'm planning my sister's bridal shower with another bridesmaid. Supposed to have the invitations ready to mail out tomorrow... Guess I should be working on that instead of blogging.

Things are returning to normalcy in my head, which is nice. Now that the fog is clearing up, I gotta keep walking in the direction that I want to go. So. I need a Google map for my own brain, isn't that sad?

I smell like mangos and mandarin oranges. Mmm.

Happy Father's Day!

just do it, ho

So, I've been waiting for two weeks for this measly little hat that has my summer mantra on it. It also happens to be the Nike slogan, so that's fortunate for me. :-)

Anyway, here's to just bucking up and doing the things that need to be done!

cloud watching

So, I've been working on this piece for a few days now... finally got a good recording at 2 am last night that I want to share.

It's sort of about me, sort of reminiscent of my fish, Kitty, that died back in January, slightly resembles the inside of my head, and sounds like the soundtrack to the day I spent a couple hours in the Shakespeare pit at Gustavus College two summers ago, cloud watching and contemplating life.

Anyway, my band might do something with it, otherwise it will show up on our next album as the last song, with just piano.

It's simple and pretty... Just how I imagine life should be. :-)

Enjoy...

post-jazz thoughts

Dear Cyberspace,

The whole point of me starting this blog was to allow myself to write, freely and generally without judgement - possible only because I know for a fact that only one, maybe two people actually read what I post. In that sense, the things that I write are thoughts in my head that I am able to eloquently arrange in sentences by picking words that best represent these thoughts. And generally when I pose questions, they tend to be rhetorical and without answer. So if you are wondering what the answers to the questions are, there aren't any. I'm still trying to figure it out. That's why this is "project karla" and not "mission accomplished karla."

There are bits and pieces that you don't know, don't yet understand, and might not ever be able to comprehend. I say this only because these words are from my head, they are written for no one and by no one except myself. If you like them, then I am glad. If you don't, then I am sorry. It's just what's in my head, that's all.

Fondly,

Karla Marie

P.S. Oh yeah, and jazz was good tonight, thank you for asking. I went by myself and was accompanied later by my guitar player! We jammed with the bassist and drummer from the onstage combo. It was slightly epic, and we're going back for more next week. Oh, how I love Tuesday nights at the Shrimp.

P.P.S I'm working on a new song. It's about me. Perhaps I will post it when I am finished. :-)