mistakes like these

i think i've listened to the same song at least fifty times between 2 am last night and right now.
i feel so emo right now. why? i don't know. classic answer.

i guess that's what happens when i stay up late... the magic that keeps me up between 2 and 4am fades as the sun comes up, even though i desperately try to hold on what i felt, just to know that some part of it was real. but now the whole day has gone by and i've been stuck in 3am mode since i woke up. i am still seriously disoriented and lost in a maze of my own doing. cheers.

i said, karla you can write for about 20 minutes, but then you need to stop being ridiculous and go to bed; wake up tomorrow and get out of this funk, do good work, be strong, eat your fruits and veggies.
and lo and behold, it's been a half an hour and i'm still sitting here on my giant silver exercise ball, still pretending it's a chair, contemplating why i can't pick myself up and go to sleep.

i hate that i make mistakes like these - getting attached, wondering, thinking about the what if's - because unlike the mistakes that make you a better person, these just keep me going in circles, right where i was not too long ago.

once again, not making sense. laundry time.