grace

I write to you at the cusp of a new week, the week affectionately known to me as The Week From Hell. So far, I have to write a 6 page paper (not too bad), memorize the first movement of the Sibelius violin concerto (dear God help me), attend three more 3-hour rehearsals and 5 performances (back pain up the wazoo), and find a way to gracefully glide my way through all of these things without losing it.

But you know what? It's going to be fine.

Sounds like a good time for A Life Lesson With Karla, brought to you by Glade Plugins:

Life Lesson #5: There will be good days, and there will be bad days. Just gotta roll with it.

It's hard to remember this one sometimes, especially when it's a bad day. But funny enough, today was a good day. Things felt normal. I felt good. I ate food, I practiced, I worked out, I went to a three hour rehearsal and didn't complain... It really was a good day. And I've had plenty of bad days in the past few months to know that there will be both kinds of days, even just from day to day. You never know what kind of day it's going to be when you wake up, but you do get the power to do something about it. I think that power is a powerful thing indeed, to be able to look at a situation and try your hardest to make the best of it. Or to have conversations with people that you've been needing to have... It's funny how communication skills can change how your day goes. Communication is key, people. Maybe that should be the next Life Lesson.
Anyway, the point is that it is easy to have a bad day and never expect to have another good day. Been there. It's also easy to have a good day, like today, and expect to not have a bad day for awhile. I've been working my way towards having consistent good days for a few months, and I've discovered that it's all about grace. Grace in the way I handle inconsistencies or confusion, and grace in the way I deal with other people. I'm hoping that I will be able to handle these next few weeks of school with a certain amount of grace - taking every inconsistency and problem with a grain of salt and a smile on my face.



Here's to hope, friendships, SPO Love, and Christmas At Luther. 'Tis the season!


P.S. I picked up my new violins last week... I will devote an entire post to them sometime. They are divas and would expect nothing less than an entire post all about them.

felix

Today I found out that I will get to take home a new violin next week. On Black Friday, I will drive up to Atlanta and see the instruments that Stephanie has been making for about 7 months now. We've been taking pictures throughout the building experience, and I have to say that this is one of the most incredible processes that I've witnessed in my life so far.

The excitement is overwhelming. Quite literally, actually. I was telling some friends about the instruments today and had to force myself to stay in one spot - it was all I could do to keep from screaming and basically exploding all over the Jenson hallway. Yesterday, I saw the pictures of the coats of varnish on the instrument and I almost cried. I am so beyond ecstatic for these new instruments... I have no words. No words.

On the other side of things, though, I am down to my last 7 days with my current instrument. It's so funny because I've known that I will be getting a new instrument soon for a few months now, and every day that I play the violin I have now there are so many moments where I can't wait for a bigger, brighter sound. But still, I can't imagine giving up Felix just quite yet. It is hard for me to imagine giving up the instrument that I've basically grown up with.

I feel like I sound silly right now, talking about a violin this way. But I can't help it. The strongest relationships that I have in my life are those where music is involved, and my violin is no exception. I think I've spent more time with that instrument than I have with any one person over the past decade. I have poured sweat and tears and probably some blood into that violin, and we have shared too many memories to count. Maybe I will share some of them.



I was either ten or eleven when I went to try full size violins for the first time at Stephanie's shop in Atlanta. I was short and chubby, wore Harry Potter glasses, and had super short hair. It was my awkward stage. But I remember out of all the violins I tried, that was the one that actually spoke to me. I just knew, you know? 




I've traveled so much with that instrument - Vienna, Salzburg, Munich, Green Bay, Cleveland, Ithaca, New York City, Nashville, Madison, Minneapolis, Decorah, Atlanta, Birmingham, Denver, Snowmass, Savannah, Orlando, Washington D.C., Chicago, Kansas City, Lexington, Boston, Ann Arbor, St. Peter, St. Louis, Lincoln, somewhere in South Carolina... I'm sure there are more. But a lot of those times it was just me, my violin, and my backpack. I would always think as we got on the plane, "It's just you and me, Felix." He's a great traveler. 




I couldn't always express myself through words to friends or family, but Felix knew how to. I remember several Christmas Eves where the only lights on in the house would be the Christmas tree lights, and I stood in the music room playing the Bach Partita in D minor. Or when I was pissed off about something, I would drag myself through endless amounts of scales to calm down... We were good at solitude and quiet. 



We played the Mendelssohn violin concerto with the LSM Festival Orchestra in 2007. It was incredible. We played jazz with Tracy Silverman in Nashville, we've done fiddling with Mark O'Connor; we've played everything from Mozart to LMFAO to Maroon 5. Brahms, Beethoven, Lalo, Bach, Telemann, Schumann, Ravel, Shostakovich, Ysaÿe, Sibelius, Mahler, Dvorak, Mendelssohn... All of the great works that you can play as a young violinist, we've pretty much done together.



I got tendonitis one summer at Ithaca - I fell in love with a boy who played piano at a piano camp that only lasted for two weeks. I was there for four weeks. So when he left, I went to the practice room and stayed there. For a week and a half. Not my smartest move. 




People have told me that I have this sound, that when I play it just sounds like Karla. I owe that to Felix. I think one of the greatest memories behind that sound is TenString Serenade and the recording we did. We just soared when we played that music with Alex. It felt like flying. 



Felix got me through middle school, high school, and my first two and a half years of college. He's seen me at my worst, at my best, and every other time in between. He is the most patient creature I know. And there have been plenty of times when I could tell he was pissed off because I hadn't played in a few days, or times when he was happy because I've never sounded so good before... But if he has been nothing else, he has been a true constant in my life. The most constant thing next to my family. Always there, ready and waiting for the next practice session or rehearsal or performance. We were always in it together.

I don't think I would be the kind of violinist I am right now if I hadn't chosen Felix ten years ago. I don't know how I would be different, but I don't even want to know. That instrument taught me how to be everything I know how to be. Plus, he's been around for over 200 years, so he has truly seen it all. He has been quietly teaching me lessons about life and music in our time together. I am indebted to that instrument.


Here's to the old and the new. Long live Felix!

falalalala

I am doing something stupid right now.

Christmas at Luther 2010 is playing on my iTunes.

I'm trying to force myself to get ready for it because it's going to show up whether I'm ready or not.

What is it about C@L that I'm not ready to face yet, you ask?

Nostalgia. Most days I can handle it. But throw Christmas in the mix and it's just a recipe for disaster.

I have to face myself and the truth and everything else that I'm just not ready to face yet. And lucky me, for four nights in a row I will be bombarded with those things that I'm not ready to face. I will have no choice but to just try.

I feel like that's all I've been doing for the past two months, just trying. Is there a point at which I don't have to try anymore? Is that the point where I stop caring?

I love nostalgia and I hate nostalgia at the same time. Nostalgia houses some of my best memories from the life I have lived so far, as well as the memories that keep me up past my bed time writing blog posts. It is at the same time a lovely scrapbook and a prison.

Hmmm.

Here's to apples, McDonald's, and the Dvorak cello concerto. One more week till I'm home. Let's do this. 

georgia on my mind

I just put on some Vince Guaraldi Christmas music and it made me want to write a post. So here goes.

First snow of the season here in Decorah! It has mostly melted by now, but I thoroughly enjoyed looking out my window this morning to see white. I was so happy that I promptly fell back asleep for fifteen minutes.

See, the only thing about posting on a Wednesday afternoon is that I don't have much to say. I don't have much to say normally, but I seem to be more inspired in the evenings. However, Vince Guaraldi thinks otherwise today.

I think I posted a list of things I love about October last year. This year I'll list it up for November, how about that?


10 Things I Love About November:

1. Pumpkin-flavored everything in the caf and sweet potatoes. Every day.

2. I get to go home. I miss Georgia in the fall.

3. Thanksgiving. Obviously.

4. With Thanksgiving comes awesome traditions, like the Windham Hill Thanksgiving album that I put on repeat every year, and my dad's favorite mugs on his mug tree in the kitchen. Oh, and jigsaw puzzles and golf cart rides with the cousins.

5. Mom's cooking. Om to the nom. Pumpkin pie, homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, her famous backed snack mix, fajitas, pumpkin soup, sandwich rings...

6. My mom is the best decorator, too. Her Thanksgiving-themed house is just fabulous in the fall. And the table decor when we sit down to eat... Picture perfect. She gives Martha Stewart a run for her money.

7. Family of Four (plus Evan) time. We sing carols around the piano, go to church and eat chili, engage in late night conversations on the couch with wine and candles, talk about everything from grad school to Mom's latest photography ventures. I have the most amazing family.

8. Snuggling with my dad in mornings when he comes to wake me up. He always brings me a cup of coffee, sets it on my bedside table so I can smell it, and then he sings me a song. Best way to wake up.

9. Concert Palooza at school. Symphony, Chamber, and Jazz concerts, not to mention two student chamber recitals that will blow all other chamber recitals out of the water. I'm biased, of course.

10. The feeling that Christmas is just right around the corner. It's in the air, people. Love it.



Here's to maple pecan spice cake, pretty scarves, and fresh snow. Happy Almost Thanksgiving!