falalalala

I am doing something stupid right now.

Christmas at Luther 2010 is playing on my iTunes.

I'm trying to force myself to get ready for it because it's going to show up whether I'm ready or not.

What is it about C@L that I'm not ready to face yet, you ask?

Nostalgia. Most days I can handle it. But throw Christmas in the mix and it's just a recipe for disaster.

I have to face myself and the truth and everything else that I'm just not ready to face yet. And lucky me, for four nights in a row I will be bombarded with those things that I'm not ready to face. I will have no choice but to just try.

I feel like that's all I've been doing for the past two months, just trying. Is there a point at which I don't have to try anymore? Is that the point where I stop caring?

I love nostalgia and I hate nostalgia at the same time. Nostalgia houses some of my best memories from the life I have lived so far, as well as the memories that keep me up past my bed time writing blog posts. It is at the same time a lovely scrapbook and a prison.

Hmmm.

Here's to apples, McDonald's, and the Dvorak cello concerto. One more week till I'm home. Let's do this.